A place for endometriosis survivors & supporters, and all that goes with it.

Insomnia is inhumane

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So it’s after 5 a.m. again, I need to be at work around noon (good luck to me!), and here I am screwing around on the internet. What is with this insomnia? I know a few things might be stress from work (such as not liking a new project they have me writing, or having to do the design for A1 during a high-news time as it was on Monday with the Boston Marathon). Another is this cot is not the most comfortable and it’s humid. (Good god, Florida, please stop.)

Most likely, though, is my mind. It doesn’t shut up. EVER. I lay down for sleep, I’m exhausted, the dog is snoring his tiny maltese butt off, and my brain suddenly develops Tourette’s and keeps reminding me of the reasons *why* I’m on this cot, and what happened That Night, and weren’t the explosions awful, and you totally let your friend down, and couldn’t you just hurry and find an apartment, and Jesus all the shit that goes with boxing up a life and moving from a house to your mom’s house to fully into a new place, and can you afford that anyway, and are you going to visit New Zealand before you’re 30, and holy fuck you’re going to be 30 in October, and where are all these friends that are supposed to help you celebrate a milestone year because I don’t see any around …

Yeah, that’s just me doing stream-of-consciousness and listing a few of the things on my mind right this minute.

I’m going to attempt to slay insomnia now. What do you do to get rest when rest won’t come easy?

Author: endosucks

Endometriosis sucks. I'm here to help. on.fb.me/endosucks twitter.com/endosucks endosucks.wordpress.com

5 thoughts on “Insomnia is inhumane

  1. Yoga, meditation, a relaxation cd…sex?!

    • These are all great ideas. The last one would be an option if I wasn’t recently broken up with my guy of 3.5 years … the stress and sad feelings of being halfway moved out is a killer! I think a big part of it is feeling so unhappy with Reality that I am getting lost in distractions — internet, games, videos, books — which are stimulating me while distracting me from the things that both pain me and which I need, sleep being chief among them.

  2. I usually find I cant sleep the most when I am ill, or have something huge in my life like the most recent was surgery.

    At the moment I am struggling to sleep from bladder symptoms so I am trying anti-histamines to make me drowsy and it works. I find it affects me mentally if I cant sleep and can get panicky.

    I hope you find something calming that helps hun xx

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