A place for endometriosis survivors & supporters, and all that goes with it.


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In truths that she learned, or in times that he cried

So how do you measure a year?

This is one of everybody’s favorite songs from RENT, “Seasons of Love.” I was and am a giant RENThead and was able to introduce the movie to Phil on Christmas Eve. Not as grand as the stage version, but I’d actually forgotten just how powerful it is. And it always strikes me extra hard that the writer, Jonathan Larson, never even got to see just how far his story would reach into the world: He died of a heart problem the night of RENT’s final dress rehearsal, the result of his until-then-unknown Marfan’s Syndrome.

Here’s the video I meant to post for the New Year (see previous entry as to why it was delayed). I chose this one over one from the movie because it’s more full and is the original Broadway cast (OBC) version. There’s plenty of videos online if you want to see it sung by the actors; it’s moving.

Lyrics:
ALL
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes,
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Moments so dear.
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure, measure a year?

In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights
In cups of coffee
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.

In five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure
A year in the life?

How about love?
How about love?
How about love? Measure in love

Seasons of love. Seasons of love

JOANNE
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes!
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Journeys to plan.

Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure the life
Of a woman or a man?

COLLINS
In truths that she learned,
Or in times that he cried.
In bridges he burned,
Or the way that she died.

ALL
It’s time now to sing out,
Though the story never ends
Let’s celebrate, remember a year in the life of friends
Remember the love!
Remember the love!
Seasons of love!

JOANNE(while ALL sing)
Oh you got to got to
Remember the love!
You know that love is a gift from up above
Share love, give love spread love
Measure measure your life in love.
Seasons of love, seasons of love

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Is anybody out there?

So many times it can feel like we are shouting into an endless, deaf void, one where not even our own voice can return to us. But other times we realize that our shouts are in fact hitting even a few chords. And those chords shake the ones near them, which affects the ones tied to those, and even with small movements we are making a movement.

Which is why I have a love-hate obsession with the stats tab of the WordPress dashboard. Today, for example, this blog was mostly read in the United States. But it also made movements in Canada, Ireland, Hungary, New Zealand and Indonesia. How about that! I love to see where people are reading this blog, and hope that they are getting useful information and connection out of it, especially when so much could be lost in translation.

And in another gift from the universe, I’ve been asked to write a guest blog on another endometriosis site about FMLA and our rights in the workplace. Score! It makes me feel like a welcome member of the community with something valuable to say. And it happens that I am working on getting even more information on this subject right now, so look for that very soon.

Is there anybody out there? Absolutely. Even if you don’t get the echo back or feel the reverberations, your voice is making movements with someone, somewhere.


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Endo Month, Day 16: ‘It’s always darkest before the dawn’

Got home late on Thursday night because I chose to fight the inclination to stay at home on my day off and went out with my mom and her co-worker, Angelique, for a cheap but grand wine tasting evening at a cozy local spot in San Marco called The Grotto. Five dollars for seven wines, not including the cost of the flatbreads and cheeses we ate. I’ll post more about it later today.

It was a definite toss-up on what to feature for my first post today, but in the end it came down to the following: It’s Friday, we need a power song, and I certainly need a power song as I head off to meet with a new doctor whose specialty is apparently endometriosis and is a minimally-invasive surgeon. So please keep me in your thoughts until I come back to you to share them.

I love Florence and the Machine, and this song is pure magic. It’s like soaring. I can feel something deep and dear puff up in my chest and I think of standing with pride and flying when I hear it. And it definitely speaks to what’s in us, calling on us to shake off the weight of the world. As the chorus says, “It’s hard to dance with a devil on your back/So shake him off.”

If I could have this song pumped into my ears when I need it the most, I’d definitely pay for that luxury.

So without further ado, here is “Shake It Out” by Florence and the Machine (lyrics below, some special ones bolded). A strong and beautiful day to you all.

Shake It Out” by Florence and the Machine
Regrets collect like old friends
Here to relive your darkest moments
I can see no way, I can see no way
And all of the ghouls come out to play

And every demon wants his pound of flesh
But I like to keep some things to myself
I like to keep my issues drawn
It’s always darkest before the dawn

And I’ve been a fool and I’ve been blind
I can never leave the past behind
I can see no way, I can see no way
I’m always dragging that horse around

All of his questions, such a mournful sound
Tonight I’m gonna bury that horse in the ground
So I like to keep my issues drawn
But it’s always darkest before the dawn

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah

And it’s hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh woah

I am done with my graceless heart
So tonight I’m gonna cut it out and then restart
Cause I like to keep my issues drawn
It’s always darkest before the dawn

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah

And it’s hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh woah

And given half the chance would I take any of it back
It’s a final mess but it’s left me so undone
It’s always darkest before the dawn

Oh woah, oh woah…

And I’m damned if I do and I’m damned if I don’t
So here’s to drinks in the dark at the end of my rope
And I’m ready to suffer and I’m ready to hope
It’s a shot in the dark and right at my throat
Cause looking for heaven, for the devil in me
Looking for heaven, for the devil in me
Well what the hell I’m gonna let it happen to me

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah

And it’s hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh woah

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah

And it’s hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh woah