Hello, lovers. Yes, it has been a little while since I have been here. I’ll be filling in the adventures and misadventures as we go.
But today poses a particular problem that I know is not unique to me:
Do I stay home or not stay home?
I took the day off for the post-wedding BBQ of a lady I have known since the third grade. We’ve been out of touch over the last year and a half, except for her text about getting engaged and receiving the invite, and any visits she’s planned to my town have been canceled at the last minute. Our job schedules have kept me from taking off time to go down there when she isn’t working. Her wedding was private and held yesterday; today is a casual event by the beach.
Yesterday I was home, on the couch with a heating pad and codeine just from the threat of my impending menses. Today it has arrived and my internal organs are wringing themselves out like a soaked Libman mop.
Suffice to say, two hours each way to an event where I only know the bride and groom is *not* sounding like what all the cool endometriosis is doing today.
So the boyfriend and I are torn between going to show our love & support, and staying here since I’m worse today and not looking forward to being crampy and cooped up.
The biggest motivator? It’s not necessarily the long-standing friendship; she doesn’t seem all that bothered if I don’t show up (I texted her last week to double check the date and she responded “if it’s too far, you don’t have to come”). It’s that I don’t want to feel like I’m missing out AGAIN.
I missed my college friends’ nuptials in May because of a lung infection. I missed the wedding of a 16-year friend because of last-minute training for my job that never even happened. Am I really going to skip even this because of endo?
Is it prideful to go, or prudent? Is it smarter to stay home or suck it up?
Along with “Why me?”, this is the eternal dilemma of the chronic pain patient: Do I stay or do I go.
Neither is a winner.
*AMENDMENT: After further review and discussion, we found that the drive to the venue is 3.5 hours each way. No, just not possible. Endometriosis, serial killer of joy.*