Well, things were going really well until today.
I started Microgestin Fe 1/20 (brand name: Loestrin) on Wednesday and made it five whole days without nausea, bleeding, vomiting, or any real side effects (big yay). On Saturday, I did have a lot of moodiness despite working out, as well as a headache when I woke up today, but I can have “down periods” like every other person, plus that is a (usually) temporary side effect of birth control, so I am barely counting that in my side effects column. Plus, I’ve already noticed a decrease in appetite, which is always a plus in my opinion since the pendulum usually swings the other way.
And then, all of a sudden … Blah Time.
I woke up this morning to find myself Puffy McPuff-face. Awful! Drank some tea, showered, tried to feel better about it. There was no reason for that; I didn’t really eat on Saturday, I worked out (including swimming, which can sap you of fluids) and definitely had enough to drink. So that moon-faced girl I saw in the mirror did notmake me happy at all.
Then I went to lunch with my friends and was thoroughly embarrassed. I got up around 11 a.m. (really good, considering I’m still trying to break my 5 a.m. bedtime bad habit), did some work online, maybe ate some rice crackers and hummus (I genuinely can’t recall if that was today or yesterday), then showered and when to lunch at a Tex-Mex grille with one of my best friends, Jenn, and her husband before I had to go to work. Fully aware of how I feel most days and what Endo Sucks! is all about, I was telling them that I hadn’t been sick at all on my new BC.
I started to get a bit of a stomach ache, which quickly morphed into a queasy vertigo with pelvic ache and increasing headache. From there it was full-out face-in-my-hands, can’t-concentrate-on-conversation-because-I-might-get-sick-in-my-handbag sort of nausea. I couldn’t fucking believe it. No point in excusing myself because I wasn’t really in danger of getting sick, though I probably risked it today. I have no idea what we talked about, even though I was participating in the conversation. Her sweet husband, Jim, was inexplicably and silently fascinated with the Tex-Mex art on the wall opposite us. Bless that man.
This was one of the very few times I’ve ever wanted the free tortilla chips that usually sit idly in the middle of a restaurant table — anything to put on my stomach and try to squelch that dizzy, churning feeling. But they were nowhere to be found, nor were we offered any. I guess theme restaurants are hurting in this economy too.
I was never so glad to see a plate of food arrive … until I recalled ordering the buffalo chicken strips. Well played, C. Well played. Thankfully, it did not cause any further damage and after another 10 minutes or so of hormonal Tilt-a-Whirl, I felt quite a lot better.
Yes, par for the course when it comes to chemical contraceptives.
A word of advice to the gents: Guys, when your female acquaintances bemoan the pitfalls of birth control, pay a-fucking-ttention. You’d want to throw up too if someone suddenly twisted one of your balls to the point of popping like a New Year’s firecracker and simultaneously made you take a large shot of drugstore variety tequila when you were expecting Patron. Expect that sort of feeling if you attempt to downplay the seriousness of getting used to hormonal birth control. You’ve been warned.
Not long into my work shift, however, I started getting a strong twisting/pressure/pushing sensation in my left pelvis. If I hadn’t had an ultrasound on Wednesday, I’d say my bastard left ovary was trying to emancipate itself or self-destruct with a bursting cyst with a fury like a suicide bomber in the middle of an all-woman college fair. I am a human endorsement for codeine.
I felt better by the end of my shift, at least. Unfortunately, my shift ends at midnight, and then I came home to write about the day. Bah. I’ll get a normal sleep schedule at some point in my 20s, right?